This post has been in my head a while. Well not directly as a post but thinking about the differences in governments and handling of the Covid-19 pandemic. Spoiler, I am going to go political, but hopefully with a bit of humour, as sure, if we are not laughing…then what?
I received this email a while ago as you can see from the date (procrastination is my strong suit!). It is from a photographer in New Zealand.
I had to redact a bit of this email as when I did a quick search, the person was the first post so it would be easy to find them, and I think that it is kinda unfair. So, obviously I had a look at the photo, and equally obviously I told the sender that they had the wrong Sarah so the intended Sarah should have access to her photo now. Nobody panic.
New Zealand, a country that has by and large done a fantastic job in managing not just the spread of the disease, but also in managing the health of the nation, and by health I mean in general – mental, economic, etc. And here I sit, in the UK, a country that has not managed to achieve anything good during this pandemic, it has been shambolic. It is really amazing how bad the government has been; to quote their own term, they are ‘world beating’. No one should aim to crush the nation’s morale, spread the virus, and trash the economy, but that appears to be what they have done. God alone knows if that is what they set out to do, they are grossly incompetent so it is likely that they aimed, misguidedly, for the opposite.
How do I get humour in this, you wonder, I wonder. Well first thing is the picture…
I know this is a set up for a professional portrait, but, it does come across a bit Stepford wives. The two parental units, and three children, all colour coordinated. And then there is the fact that the male unit has a beard. I am sure he is a lovely person, and this is not an attack on him. It is the beard. Slightly reminiscent of Kris Kristofferson (my mum is a big fan)…no reflection on Kris, this is my personal opinion on all men with beards, they are not to be trusted. Perhaps I am scarred from reading The Twits by Roald Dahl when I was a child, the main characters, the Twits, had beards that they used to store morsels of food in for later…or find morsels in, yuck. And this is what I think of when I think of beards; where have they been, what have they touched, what is living in side them. I think of germs. (Not sure if it is too early for jokes about germs??)
Secondly, the porch, ok this might be a bit of stretch but here goes.
So, both pictures from internet searches, and with links to the owners so I hope this covers copyright! My own porch is very much in the style of the UK one, it is really just an additional level of security, and a place for the postperson or other delivery person to put packages, it is not somewhere that you could hang out, even if the weather permitted, and as this is the UK, it is unlikely to.
The New Zealand style porch is the one that I dream about. I have a Kiwi friend, who recently moved back there from the UK (and is so glad that she did!), who has sold me as it were on the trip to visit (background – I hate flying and NZ is the other side of the world!) by telling me about sitting on the porch, in the late afternoon, watching the sun go down, drinking Kiwi wine, all the good stuff that they don’t ship abroad. And oh my, is it a place I want to be. As an aside when searching for NZ style porches I have discovered that there are more than one variety of spider that have the name New Zealand Porch…and oh dear god do I never want to encounter any of them!
And then, lo and behold I got accidentally sent a photo of a UK family during lockdown (yes I told them they had the wrong Sarah). Now, context is obviously key in all cases. But just take a look. Just a quick one.
We have a UK Sarah, with her family, extended, as it appears to be multi-generational family unit, on what appears to be a grey day, against a grey brick wall, behind my excellent Photoshopping to disguise them, they are smiling, they do look like they are having a nice day out, however their scene setting leaves a lot to be desired. A damp grey wall. Not exactly a photo for the mantle piece. But probably one for memories, ‘that time during lock down when we met half way between our respective abodes and took a photo against the wall as it was the only background that was not a car park’, maybe they were taking a photo to check if the camera still worked, it is possible?
And Kiwi Sarah, hanging out on her porch with what appears to be her family (and is in all likelihood, during lockdown they were hardly going to fake it, Kiwi’s are far to sensible for that type of malarkey!) 3 kids, 2 boys and a girl, and bearded man.I know the NZ family have a bit of a leg up here, as they have had a professional take their portrait, but still. The wall is still grey, but it doesn’t look like it might be harbouring life.
And our last set of comparisons, I will need to take a breather here ( you won’t notice) and get a cup of tea. And review about 17 times just to make sure I am not saying anything that will get me sued! My initial thought here was to say ‘leadership’ but I feel it only applies to one country, so I will go with Prime Minister. Yep, I have gone there.
I could probably just stop this now and it would be clear what I am saying about the level of competency, integrity, and just straight up know-how that divides these two PMs. Both PMs of islands, where the boarders are easier to manage. Boris, as he likes to be called, has a straight up majority in parliament, and can effectively pass any legislation he deems fit (very similar to a dictatorship…we can play spot the difference at a later date). Jacinda, so called as that is her name, has to negotiate with her coalition parties.
Boris, delayed lockdown, despite it being a path numerous other countries had take to prevent the spread, because he said it was the inalienable right of ‘the people born in England’ to have a pint, lets not think of the rights of those born in Scotland, Wales, or Northern Ireland?. Maybe it was because he believed it was/is our inalienable right to catch the virus? Jacinda, locked down hard. Despite objections. Closed the boarders and kept everyone at home with her team of five million. Boris, left the boarders open, everyone was advised not to travel, but no so much as to actually do anything as rash as close the boarder. Boris shook hands with the sick in hospitals, and caught the virus. Jacinda – no record of anything so reckless or to be honest, stupid.
No one has any experience of handling a global pandemic. The last one was the Spanish flu of 1918 and all of those in charge then, are well dead now (time, it gets us all). But still, it is not hard to see the patterns emerging across the globe, and actually do something! Or learn from your mistakes and missteps, improve as you go along. No plan survives contact with the enemy, but you have to have one to start, and inspect and adapt as you go forward.
Oh I could go on, but I would be here for days! Even if you are ambivalent about his politics, it is, you would have to say more than a bit surprising that he won’t admit to the number of children he has fathered. It is inconceivable ( I feel a bit like the Sicilian in The Princess Bride here) that in the so called modern age you would deny your child’s paternity, it is really easy to prove. Boris is a documented liar, having been fired from previous posts having been caught in falsehood. There is even a web site listing the falsehoods of recent political times. What else exactly is he hiding?
Jacinda on the other hand, to be fair it is not as easy to deny your children when you are the mother, but by all counts just the one, freely acknowledged. It is also much harder to find actual evidence of lying (I haven’t spent days looking, just your standard internet search) some to be expected cross party stone throwing, not a lot to be honest, I think I found more about her opinion on lying than any actual lies. No one has complied a web site of her falsehoods that I have found.
Not sure I managed the chuckles in this post, maybe I am just not feeling it, when I know my friends in New Zealand can go out as normal, not as the new normal, the term we are all applying here. Surely there is a better new normal? One where people are supported by their government, when the people in charge are in that position because they are capable?
Surely, one day, in the near future, (it was supposed to be 2021, but I don’t think it will be happening for a long while) I will be able to travel to New Zealand, without the two weeks of quarantine either side, and see my friends in person, go swimming in the sea, drink chilled Malborough white wine on their lovely porch, and relax?
Here we are, islands, and humans, caught in swift moving currents out of our control and out of our understanding. We move forward, as that is all we can do.
IJustHaventDoneItYet 