What’s in a name?

Well, I had an idea for a post, and was going to write about events that I have been mistakenly invited too, however it was a bit depressing as all I can think about are all the places that we are not going to get to this year, and maybe not even next year. I am not even thinking about international travel, a trip to a campsite within cycling distance of the sea or some water would be good for me. Who knows when that is going to happen? Even if it is ‘allowed’ and I use that word loosely, I am not sure I will feel comfortable, travel, visiting places, and people definitely on the back burner for now.

So, what to write about? I though I would look at the random, varied, and international marketing emails I get.

Having a name that used to be the number one name for girls in the world, is only five letters and is familiar across countries and cultures as it is mentioned in religious texts means that I have always been fairly lucky in that people can mostly pronounce it correctly. I always feel for people with different names, whether they are Irish, Indian, or Arabic, or any other nation, as people, and I guess I would have to be honest and say, English speaking people, normally just fall over and fail to pronounce them correctly. I always think it is so rude to get someone’s name wrong! Imagine getting your own name wrong?? On a slight tangent here; the scene in Catastrophe where Rob Delaney’s character tries to pronouns his new daughter’s name Muireann (Irish name) makes me cry laughing, find a clip and watch it, then watch the whole series if you haven’t already (am not affiliated – just saying!).

Do we attribute it to the autocorrect/autofill? You start typing and your email provider automatically completes it, and shows you the name and not the actual detail of the email address? You assume it is the right one? Email addresses are unique by design, there are over 300 million entries when you search for my name with your preferred search engine, do people not realise that they are not the only person with their name, or name and middle initial combination? You needed to get your name in during the early days of email, I am showing my age!

Lets start with an outlier:

This mail, and I may be exaggerating seems to be aimed at what I would probably call, somewhat mockingly, a prepper. Based on the current world scenario they might be right, but I am going to let that one slide for the moment. What caught my eye on this one is the tag ‘always be ready’ and on their site it looks like you can be, the search options include ‘Law Enforcement’ (wtaf?), Fire/EMS – these are people who are all out for the worst case scenario, but they can’t get their email address right? I consider myself prepared when I have remembered to bring my bags for life to the supermarket, or the shopping list with me (seriously, how many times can one person write a list and leave it at home?). Am a little bit worried about what they are preparing for, maybe in their future there will be no need for email, or writing…

This Sarah has wondered far past my imagination. I wish her good luck, and I hope it is not as bad as she expects!

Moving on, no pun intended:

Now this cracked me up, if this was directed at me they have definitely missed the motivation mark. I find myself crossing my arms like a moody teenager, saying ‘make me, no, you move!‘. It also seems slightly misaligned to the concept of social distancing while people do interpret it in nuanced ways, I think even Dominic Cummings would struggle to interpret it as ‘united’. A bit of local humour there!

Anyway, I only ever once signed up for a gym. I lasted about 3 months as one of the girls I worked with also went to the gym and she gave me a lift after work. That is the only reason I made it, I got driven too and from the gym of an evening. I have a feeling that driving too and from a gym defeats the purpose. This Sarah however is in Florida (bet it is scorchio there today), haven’t been to Florida – it always comes across as hot and that is not what this pasty Celt looks for on holiday. I hope this Sarah is managing to get the appropriate socially distanced exercise, and has not missed out on the online classes. Maybe she is closer to me that I think, she didn’t give the gym her correct address, maybe she really doesn’t want to be found, or be made crush it what ever that is! I am with Homer – what’s a GYM (he sounds it out, doesn’t translate well to the page but it is more like GUY-AM) – TV roll activated!

Ok last one for today:

Ok, this one got me, when I read the headline my first thought was oh! I want a bee hive! Yeah I am that person. Having a bee hive sounds amazing. We are lucky and have a fairly large garden, and bees, well, essential to the survival of humanity and they give you honey. What is not to love? Also, I have always imagined that one day I would own a hazmat suit, not for current world situations, just that I seem to attract insects and they bite, and I am allergic so I swell up which is unpleasant, and I am not good in sun light as I am quite pale so would like the shade provided – anyway a bee keepers suit would be close enough; get back on track, Sarah!

Obviously I clicked on the link and was a little dismayed to find that it was a purveyor of bee related products, no actual bees or hives. They have a few stores in places that I have only read about or seen on TV; Myrtle Beach, Boulder (am scared of Boulder thanks to Stephen King, you could not pay me to go there!), Charleston, all so exotic! And they sell Mead…honestly have you ever drank mead? I have, it is not nice, if there was no safe water, sure I would drink Mead, that is partly how it came about! No to Mead. Only in desperation. I haven’t tasted this Mead so I am prepared to be corrected, it seems unlikely in this lifetime though. Anyway, I can imagine that this is the type of place that only exists in tourist towns, for people to buy treats on a day out, and sign up for the newsletter to avail of the sign-up discount. We all do it.

There is an old saying go tell it to the bees, and I remember my mother telling me when I was younger that you should always tell your problems to the bees, not sure what they do with the news but maybe the act of telling helps with the problem. Seems like there is a lot to tell the bees at the moment. Maybe I will look into getting a hive!